Overcoming the Urge to Give Up
Last night around 2 AM, I found myself staring at yet another abandoned project. This time it was a half-finished maintenance note. The file was right there, about 70% complete, sitting untouched for three weeks.
And it hit me - I do this ALL. THE. TIME.
I'm a serial project-starter and chronic project-abandoner.
What's weird is that I never do this with work deadlines or things I HAVE to do. When my boss needs something by Friday, it gets done by Friday. But when it's just me, learning for myself? My commitment evaporates like morning dew in the Toronto summer heat.
I've realized learning isn't a nice straight upward line we imagine. It's more like a curve with a honeymoon phase, the slog phase, and then the golden point. At first, everything is new and exciting, progress happens fast. But the progress slows to a crawl, and you're not sure what you're doing wrong in the middle of the process. But if you push through the slog, you magically gain enough knowledge to actually understand what you need to improve.
Most of us quit during The Slog. I certainly do.
For me, I think it's the fear of disappointment that makes me give up. If I never finish learning something, I never have to face the possibility that I might suck at it. By abandoning ship early, I protect myself from potential failure.
This is especially true with creative pursuits. I had no clear benchmarks for success. At least with something structured like learning code, there are right and wrong answers. With creativity, the endless possibilities became paralyzing.
What's actually helping me break the cycle?
- I Make Peace With Potential Failure
Before starting my current photography project, I told myself: "This might turn out terrible, and that's completely okay."
Weirdly, acknowledging that I might fail takes the pressure off. When I stop worrying about the end result, I can actually enjoy the process more.
- The Three-Hour Rule
When I hit that "I want to quit" feeling now, I set a timer for three hours. I tell myself, "Just stick with this for three more hours. If you still hate it after that, fine."
Last month when one of a server system I manage started failing, I was ready to give up after 20 minutes of troubleshooting. Instead, I committed to three hours of focused effort. By hour two, not only had I fixed it, but I'd learned enough to help another site owner on a forum with the same issue.
- Embracing Boredom
This sounds counterintuitive, but some of my best breakthroughs happen when I'm bored out of my mind. During those three-hour sessions, after the initial frustration passes, my brain enters this stream of consciousness where creative solutions start appearing.
It's like my mind says, "Fine, if we're stuck here anyway, might as well figure something out."
...
This whole pattern reminds me of how people approach Linux. A friend recently wanted to try Ubuntu on his laptop. He hit ONE snag with his WiFi drivers and immediately went back to Windows. That five-minute fixable problem was his excuse to abandon the entire journey.